Bittersweet...Yea

(Source: hitwizard)

marijuano:

k

I may not be Tony Montana. But i sure did consume drugs like i was…..

(Source: methbreath666)

This world is beyond amazing!

(Source: leilockheart)

My true meaning in life is to seek eternal love. To capture her. To cherish her……………… I was walking through the streets this morning. I happened to pass by one of the Methodist church’s on the way here. As I was passing through the church grounds i noticed a cross that i always happen to see. I thought back and remembered, “hey, i’ve had a happy moment here once before long ago.” I felt compelled to bow down before it. I asked for forgiveness, whether or not i received it, that’s not the point. I know that for the past few months i have been a complete drug head. A complete dead brain. Addicted to pain killers and anxiety medication. Hyrdos, xanax, valiums and morphine. I just so happened to pick the right job. Became friends with the right people,… as always and fell into a much deeper depression before the one I am in now. 2-5 xanax a day and 2 hyrdos a night, that right there was something i thought i needed at least once a day if not more…. That has kept me going for the remainder of the last two and half months. Smoking everyday, cigarettes included. I got paid and said fuck it. I bought an ounce and smoked it in a little over two days on top of drinking and the rest of my insignificant life. The past 3 days i cannot tell you who i’ve encountered or what i’ve done. 5 days ago i couldn’t tell you anything but there was a party. I remember starring into the handful of xanax’s in my hand. 22 to be exact. As i was sitting in the LOW’s bathroom i was debating whether or not this will be my last day on earth. I prayed, “forgive me God”, and i took them. The bitter taste was really…not so good. I began to choke a little as i was shoving more and more pills down my throat trying to devour the 5 or so xanax left. I wanted to die. I immediatley left the bathroom scene thinking someone might of noticed and i wanted no one to. I ran into an old friend who works up there. Newman! He asked, “what’s wrong with you man.” i said, ” i’m trying to die by overdosing.” I walked off. Next thing i remember was complete and utter darkness. I would come in and out of consciousness. I remember being yelled at. By who? Does it really matter…. i suppose not. Jesus, give me strength. Jesus, give me wisdom. Jesus, give me courage. Jesus, give me hope. Jesus, give me faith. Give me love….. I have my doctor’s app. today. I need help.  For the girl that i love so dearly. I ask myself is/was it worth it. I tell myself that the correct answer is no. But deep down inside i cry and say that she’ll always be worth it. I felt like i experienced death to some extent. I figured that if i took enough i would die. But it just so happens that i didn’t so i rahter blog about it. All i need from you Katherine is closure. Please let me go. Please quit blogging about me. just please. There is no sense in me hanging on any longer. Give me closure please…. just tell me to get lost and tell me your over me. Cause if you’re not. Come back to me dammit. I’m fucking tired of wasting my life waiting for what i think is love. Make me believe it’s love. I feel my heart, its slowly but surely beating…without you… That is what i need right now!                I haven’t taken any pills since. But the next time i do. I plan on making no intentions blogging about it after. Cause i won’t be here. ps I couldn’t give you the world, but i did give you my heart. Can i please have it back now?

(Source: hitwizard)

I haven’t had sex in quite awhile and man….. Like john mayer said. Make fake love for an hour or so…

(Source: titsndclits)